Feeling Guilty for Going Back to Work After Baby? How a Therapist for Working Moms Can Help
Going back to work after having a baby can bring up feelings you never expected.
Maybe you thought you would be excited to return to a career you worked hard to build. Maybe you imagined feeling like yourself again. Or maybe you assumed you would know exactly what you wanted once maternity leave ended.
Instead, you feel guilty.
You love your baby deeply, but you also miss your career, your independence, talking to other adults who can talk back, or simply the version of yourself who existed before motherhood.
And now you’re wondering: Am I supposed to want to stay home? Should I go back to work? Am I being selfish if I want my career?
If you’re searching for a therapist for working moms near you, you may not actually need someone to tell you what decision to make. You may need space to figure out what you want without guilt, pressure, or everyone else’s expectations taking over.
Why going back to work can feel so complicated
For high-achieving mothers, returning to work can bring up a surprising amount of anxiety.
You may feel pulled between two identities: the mother you’ve become and the professional woman you were before having children.
You might wonder whether you’re missing too much by working. At the same time, you may feel frustrated that motherhood has made you feel disconnected from a part of yourself you genuinely loved.
Maybe your job gave you purpose, confidence, financial independence, intellectual stimulation, or a sense of accomplishment.
Wanting those things doesn’t mean you love your child any less.
Motherhood can be incredibly meaningful while also changing your relationship with yourself. You can be grateful for your child and still grieve parts of your old life.
Both can be true.
A therapist for working moms can help you separate guilt from what you actually want
One of the hardest parts of this decision is figuring out whether you’re making choices based on your own values or based on guilt.
Guilt can sound like:
“A good mom would want to stay home.”
“I should be happier being home with my baby.”
“My child needs me more than my career does.”
“Other moms seem to make this look so easy.”
“I worked so hard for my career. How could I walk away?”
“If I go back to work, I’m choosing myself over my child.”
But guilt isn’t always a reliable decision-maker.
Therapy can give you a place to slow down and ask different questions.
What do I actually want? What kind of mother do I want to be? What role does my career play in the life I want to create? What am I willing to change? What am I not willing to give up?
The goal isn’t to convince you to return to work or convince you to stay home.
It’s to help you make a decision that feels more aligned with you.
Online therapy in Massachusetts for working moms navigating identity changes
If you’re a working mother in Massachusetts, finding time for therapy can feel like one more thing to add to an already overflowing mental load.
That’s why online therapy can be especially helpful.
You don’t have to drive to an office, arrange additional childcare, or spend extra time commuting. Therapy can happen virtually from a private space that works with your schedule.
Working with a therapist who understands high-achieving mothers can also give you space to talk honestly about the parts of motherhood that don’t always feel socially acceptable to say out loud.
You can talk about resentment.
You can talk about missing your old life.
You can talk about wanting more time for your career.
You can talk about feeling like your identity disappeared somewhere between pregnancy, maternity leave, childcare, and keeping everyone else going.
You don’t have to minimize those feelings to prove that you’re a good mom.
What if you don’t know who you are anymore?
Sometimes the question isn’t simply, “Should I go back to work?”
It’s “Who am I now?”
Motherhood can shift your priorities, relationships, body, schedule, friendships, career goals, and sense of independence all at once.
You may find yourself wondering where the woman who loved her career, hobbies, social life, or independence went.
And if you’re a high-achieving woman, you may be especially uncomfortable with not having a clear answer.
You’re used to figuring things out.
You’re used to being productive.
You’re used to setting goals and making a plan.
But identity doesn’t always work that way. Therapy can help you explore who you are now without forcing yourself to become the exact person you were before having children. Maybe you:
want your career back.
want a different version of your career.
want to stay home for a while.
want to work part-time.
have no idea yet.
You’re allowed to figure it out.
Finding a therapist for working moms near me in Massachusetts
When looking for a therapist for working moms near you, it can help to find someone who understands more than anxiety in isolation.
You may want support from someone who understands the intersection of motherhood, career, identity, perfectionism, people pleasing, boundaries, and the mental load.
Therapy can be a place to work through the guilt while also addressing the anxiety underneath it.
You can learn to set boundaries around your time, communicate your needs more clearly, challenge the belief that you have to do everything perfectly, and build confidence in your decisions.
Most importantly, you don’t have to earn the right to have an identity outside of being a mom.
If postpartum anxiety, identity loss, or the transition into motherhood is making this season particularly difficult, you can also learn more about what support for career mothers looks like.
And if you’re ready to talk about what you’re experiencing, you can reach out to schedule a free consultation.
You don’t have to choose between being a good mom and being yourself
There is no perfect answer to the question of whether you should return to work after having a baby.
The right decision for you may look different from what your friend, sister, partner, or another mom chooses.
What matters is that you have enough space to hear your own voice underneath the guilt, expectations, anxiety, and pressure.
You can love being a mother and still want a career. You can miss your old identity and still love your new one. You can want more for yourself without wanting less for your children.
Therapy can help you feel more confident making decisions that reflect the life and motherhood you actually want—not the version you think you’re supposed to want.
Ready to feel more confident in your next step?
If you’re ready to start feeling confident, I can help you get there
Ali Nataloni, LMHC, is a therapist who specializes in women’s and maternal mental health. With her virtual practice based in East Longmeadow, Ali provides therapy throughout the state of Massachusetts. Through the use evidenced based approaches of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Ali works with high-achieving mothers navigating the nuances of motherhood. Ali (LMHC#10797) has been practicing for over a decade following her degree from Springfield College. Reach out to Ali via the contact page to work with her.