Lindsay Clancy Reminds Me of…Me
Trigger Warning: This post discusses a criminal trial involving the deaths of children, as well as postpartum mental illness. This post is for educational purposes only and reflects my opinion. It is not a replacement for therapy or other mental health treatment. If you have concerns about your mental health, please speak directly with your clinician(s). If you're in crisis, call or text 988, contact your mental health provider, or reach Postpartum Support International at 1-800-944-4773. You are not alone, and asking for help is not evidence of anything except that you're paying attention.
If you've followed any part of the Lindsay Clancy trial, you've probably heard the prosecution's description of her by now. They've used the words "controlling, meticulous, and manipulative." All I see is someone like… well, me. I'm writing this to say out loud what I think a lot of other working mothers are thinking: "she reminds me of me."
They describe Lindsay as a "classic overachiever": a straight-A college student and athlete, a successful Labor & Delivery nurse, and "someone who likes to control every little detail of her life and her family's life."
Newsflash: I was a straight-A college student and a college athlete, and I'm a successful full-time working parent and therapist. When I was freshly postpartum, I found that continuity, a predictable routine, and (surprise) people around me were what eased my anxiety in that major life transition.
And yet Lindsay is portrayed as a manipulative, evil human being who demanded control and that she planned to kill her children. I can picture other mothers reading this and thinking, "Am I a monster if I like to control sleep?" or "I structure my child's feeding schedule: is that bad?" or even "I do the same thing,do I have postpartum psychosis?" When the prosecution described her days as “laid out with specificity, food planned carefully, sleep scheduled to the minute”, I don't see someone planning to murder her children. I see myself doing the exact same thing. Let me explain.
In my postpartum days, I had to be home for my son to nap, because if anything strayed from that, I felt like something bad would happen. If he didn't get his 3 hours of "daytime sleep," I feared he wouldn't sleep at all that night and so we needed to be home for every. single. nap.That same rigid structure around feeding showed up again with my second child, despite me being a seasoned mother (and a maternal mental health therapist). If I didn't nurse or pump every 3 hours with my daughter, a worry would creep in that my milk supply would drop and I wouldn't be able to feed her. And no one could have prepared me for "the doom cloud" that gathered over my head at 4pm every day.
Now let me be very clear: Lindsay was experiencing Postpartum Psychosis (PPP), which is something very different from something like postpartum anxiety or postpartum depression, and I'll explain that difference below. The symptoms I described above do not mean you're experiencing PPP.
Postpartum Psychosis vs. Other Perinatal Mood Disorders
Perinatal Psychosis, or Postpartum Psychosis (PPP), is a serious perinatal mood disorder that usually has an onset in the first 2 weeks postpartum (though it can appear up to a year after birth). Postpartum Psychosis occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries, and it waxes and wanes. Which means, a person experiencing it can still hold a conversation and go about everyday life, and the next minute lose all concept of reality. Symptoms can include:
Delusions or strange beliefs
Auditory or visual hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren't there)
Feeling very agitated
Hyperactivity or having more energy than usual
Severe depression or lack of emotion
Decreased need for, or inability to, sleep
Paranoia and suspiciousness
Rapid mood swings
Difficulty communicating at times
An active case of Postpartum Psychosis is considered an emergency reach out to one of the resources listed at the top of this post, or call 911 if there is immediate danger. It is important to stay with the person and their child(ren) to ensure everyone's safety.
Postpartum Psychosis is treatable, and help is available. You do not need a diagnosis to reach out. For more information, visit Postpartum Support International.
Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, and OCD
Perinatal or Postpartum Depression includes depression that occurs during pregnancy (prenatal depression) and in the weeks and months after childbirth (postpartum depression). Most episodes begin within 4–8 weeks after birth and go beyond typical "baby blues." Symptoms can start anytime during the perinatal period, and they may differ for each person. They can include:
Feelings of anger, irritability, and/or rage
Lack of interest in the baby
Disturbances of sleep and appetite
Crying and sadness
Feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness
Loss of interest, joy, or pleasure in things you used to enjoy
Possible thoughts of harming the baby or yourself
Perinatal Anxiety (PPA) involves excessive, hard-to-control worry and fear that occur during pregnancy or up to 12 months after giving birth. It can be experienced on its own or alongside PPD. Symptoms include:
Constant worry
Feeling that something bad might happen
Racing thoughts
Instrusive thoughts
Disturbances of sleep and appetite
Inability to sit still
Physical symptoms such as dizziness, hot flashes, diarrhea, and nausea
Feelings of anger, irritability, and/or rage
Nervousness, feeling on edge, trouble relaxing
Perinatal or Postpartum OCD is characterized by repetitive, unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and irrational, excessive urges to perform certain actions (compulsions). These obsessions and compulsions often center on the health and safety of the pregnancy and/or baby. Obsessions and intrusive thoughts are not the same as auditory hallucinations.
My Why
A big part of the prosecution's opening statement focused on how Lindsay's symptoms progressed when her husband returned to work and she lost the nanny who had helped with childcare and running the household. They noted that she started to "lose control" and "couldn't handle doing it all." This is the exact issue with modern motherhood today. It’s always been that no matter what choice a mother makes, it is always wrong, despite wanting to do everything right, which is what I see Lindsay tried to do.
You know what's ironic? Society says "it takes a village," and when that village is there, it's helpful. Evidence shows, over and over again, that mothers do better when they're supported. But take that village away and expect mothers to do it all without help, and society says, "you can't handle it." To me, mothers were never supposed to "handle it" alone. That's my goal in this work: making sure no mother goes without a village.
Modern mothers are expected to "do it all," and when they don't, they're labeled as incapable. The purpose of this post is to voice my experience and opinion on modern motherhood, and why it's my goal to make sure no mother goes without a village. This trial has only deepened my conviction that this work matters and that the need is bigger than I realized.
I'm here to tell you: you're more than capable.
The one thing I don't want to come out of this trial is mothers becoming afraid to ask for help, or afraid to talk about what's truly happening for them. We need to support mothers and normalize intrusive and scary thoughts and even experiences with hallucinations so that no other mother or child is failed again.
If you or someone you know has been looking for support in motherhood; a village to help carry you, I've got you. Reach out for a free consultation today.
Proud of you, mama, always.
Alexandra Nataloni, LMHC
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References
Postpartum Support International. (n.d.). About perinatal mental health.August 4, 2026, from https://postpartum.net/perinatal-mental-health/
Resources
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, available 24/7
Postpartum Support International HelpLine — 1-800-944-4773 (call or text); postpartum.net — not a crisis line, but a place to get connected with support, local providers, and peer mentors
Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741, available 24/7
PSI "In an Emergency" resources — postpartum.net/get-help/in-an-emergency
If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call 911